Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Arnab Goswamy, you are messing up our lives !

Well, Arnab is only an euphemism. Not just Arnab Goswamy, also Rahul Kanwal, Burkha Dutt, Rajdeep Sardesai and other major and mini-celebrities of the 24-hour TV channel world ! There used to be a time when we, the Aam Admi types, worried only about our jobs, the bosses, the salary cheques, the taxes and the domestic servants. But look at today's situation. When the clock strikes nine, Arnab Goswamy , the Assam-born Bengali babu with a boyish face peeps into our drawing room. His eyes are already red. His nostrils grow wider by the minute. His lips quiver with emotion. His voice thunders. He is the new angry young man of the decade.From the TV screen , he looks at you intensely through his bifocals, exactly as Amitabh 'Vijay' did 40 years ago, but without spectacles, in 'Zanzeer'and delivers his lines in a steadily rising pitch. Amitabh used his fists to beat up the villains, this Goswamy chap lashes at the netas with his sharp tongue.Amitabh at least used to take a few blows before he decided 'enough is enough' and went about breaking the bones of the villains. But Goswamy never gives a chance to any of the discussion panel members to as much as even open their mouths. The moment some one dares to do so, he shouts the poor man down, accusing him of being a friend of scam-infested A.Raja or Kalmadi.The panel members become speechless; after all, who would like to be thought of, by the National TV-viewers as being in the company of the 2G Rajas and CWG Kalmadis? I have heard that even Mani Shankar Iyer known as Cyanide-tongued Iyer is powerless in front of Goswamy. To emit cyanide, Iyer should be able to open his mouth but Arnab has already sealed it for the duration of the debate ! Your blood boils when Shri Goswamy , without the slightest trace of Rosha Golla in his accent, exposes the various misdeeds of the politicians. You want to join Goswamy in rooting out the society's ills by doing whatever you can, though you realize that all that you can do is to send an sms to Times Now expressing your support. Goswamy goes home happily and Times Now laughs all the way to the bank, but what about you? You retire to your bed worrying about what to do to to prevent the female infaniticide, to pass the Lok Pal bill, to stem the menace of the Maoists, to tackle across-the-border terrorists etc. etc. You have lost your sleep and you would soon your hair. If you close your eyes, Babu Moshai Goswamy is back with a vengence, talking about some scam or the other in your nightmare. What has happened to your life? Did you ask what has happened to your life? Well, it has been taken over by the TV. These 24x7 news channels have succeeded in convincing you that life is not worth living. After watching them, you suspect a dead rat in every corner.You start suspecting every one, be it the courier boy, the newspaper vendor, the neighbourhood kirana store annachi, the coconut vendor or the Kulfiwala and even his uncle. There has to be a scam. There has to be a misdeed. Lurking somewhere. Well-hidden and white-washed. Soon, Goswamy will expose it. If not Goswamy, the Punjabi lad Rahul Kanwal will do it gladly. Or the good old ( no pun intended) Burkha. All that you have to do to learn about it is to become a couch potato at 9 every night. And watch in horror the Goswamys, the Kanwals and the Dutts in blood-churning action ! Phew ! Life was a lot better in the pre-cable days !